What Inspired “Decoy?”

There are a multitude of little intricate things that inspired Decoy. Let’s start with the title, I got it from a wine brand. The name stuck out to me at work when I was in the aisle and it just fit perfectly with the theme of this story because it talks about how it feels to lose a sense of who you are as you pretend to be someone else when you know deep down inside, you’re deteriorating. 

I know it’s not that extreme (maybe slightly extreme, didn’t go into too much detail) but it’s still a form of self-neglect and it wasn’t because I truly didn’t care, it was because I didn’t have affordable health insurance and it would cost me thousands of dollars to fix my teeth. Honestly, it is very raw and I wrote it from the heart. Looking back and reading it, I see I may have been a little hard on myself and those around me but it’s real. 

It’s the moments I get when the darkest parts of my mind whisper hurtful, selfish, wicked things in my ear and for those seconds I believe them. The story is about my journey of focusing on my wellbeing for once in my life but also having to deal with the fallout. As the short story explains, there are still some things holding me back for the sake of others. It’s truly a story of self-discovery and how just because you’re in this bad moment now, you won’t be in there forever as long as you trudge forward and focus on the goals you have for yourself. I hope you guys enjoyed it, I had fun writing it.